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zenolaliaOkay, so let's just get the first thing first: this film absolutely maintains Infinity War's stupid assed belief that Thanos legitimately "loved" Gamora. So it didn't even try to undo the whole abuse=love thing. They had a whole beautiful ass opportunity to fix that, and they did not. They also did NOT need to show ScarJo's dead body in a sexually provocative pose. That was gratuitous, but like, honestly, I don't think anyone came into Endgame expecting the soul stone to get fixed, that was always a pipe dream.
Moving right along.
The writing in this film is best described as a pile of toothpicks held together with papier mache made entirely of fan service, but oh fuck y'all, that fanservice was SO fucking TASTY and I am not above eating it with a spoon. Like, bitch, if the Secret Empire had pulled off the Captain America as a double agent thing half as well as that gorgeous fucking elevator callback scene, my dog would be named after him and not after James Barnes right now, okay? Like, fuck dude, fuck, my dude. Legendary.
But then you get to the denouement, and the thing is? There's no more fan service. The problem with a denouement is there are no more callbacks, no more climaxes, no more rising actions and falling tensions, there's just resolutions. And so the entire audience has to look back at your writing, and realize with horror, that you have fucked. Up.
Let me be very clear: I'm glad--grateful in fact--that Steve and Tony are permanently retired. But they absolutely 1000000% BORKED the SHIT out of the landing on Steve's storyline (unsurprising since that's been a fairly common refrain with his stories since winter soldier), and while Tony's ending was handled with grace and depth that was suitable for someone who literally created and carried this franchise and fundamentally reshaped the entire field of cinema in the western world as a result, the fact is, the writing for his character for the first fucking 140 minutes of the film was Not Great.
Now, let's talk about those ladies. First, Carol. A) I love her. B) her butch haircut? To die for. I wish I was that hot. Please, Carol, share with me your secrets. C) The Russo's are cowards who don't know how to handle her, so they just were like "meh, I guess we'll have her be busy off screen for 165 minutes, whatever, no way that'll be annoying given she was marketed as a lynchpin in this fiasco or anything."
Which is pretty indicative of how women are handled in general in this movie. There's this sort of veneer of womanistic paint, that really is a micrometer thick. For example, there is a scene--I think we all know the one--where Dear And Good Boy Peter Parker gets in over his head and meets beautiful super goddess Captain Marvel and is like, "whoa, how will you get through this hoarde of monsters tho" and then ALL THE WOMEN OF MARVEL line up behind her to be like "Don't worry, she has back up" and it's very "GIRL POWER, YEAH," and it's kind of satisfying tbh, I won't lie. Except, also, there's. Like. A grand total of 8 women. In all of Marvel. And it really, really, REALLY, emphasizes that very low population. Watching this scene that is supposed to really be very empowering and feminist and whatever else just drives home how FEW women are allowed to EXIST AT ALL in these films. And like, you know they did it on purpose for marketing executives to be able to put that in some kind of trailer to pop onto the My Little Pony time slots. It's a trailer shot. And that's fine and all, but it's so agonizingly obviously a trailer shot because there's so few women in Marvel that, well, it sticks out. It makes it painfully obvious how few women there are!
Black Widow was supposed to be a primary character in this movie, btw. She definitely was, very clearly, supposed to be a perspective character. We were supposed to get main story perspectives: Tony, Nebula, and Widow. Except, regardless of how obvious it is that Widow was supposed to be the protagonist of her plotline, Clint is treated as the protagonist of her plotline. Which is confusing for a number of reasons, not the least of which being that when she dies he's still not narratively relevant to the fucking plotline so it just kind of goes on inertia with him along for the ride. This is a real fucking piss in the grave for Nat fans, and a slap in the face for Clint fans. I will say that this did a good job really exploring their relationship as non-romantic soulmates, which is nice, as it explicitly cements them as each other's most important other halves and all, but in a 100% platonic way, which is nice and basically never happens with M/F pairs, but like, I'm disinclined to give anyone the points for that since the film also kept really trying to push the bizarre as FUCK Bruce/Natasha ship too, while LITERALLY MENTIONING AT ONE POINT HOW WEIRD IT WAS.
Now, Nebula, I would say, was the one woman this film actually treats well. For a value of well. Her arc is complete, her story brutal but ultimately I found it very satisfying. It begins with her being confused by the idea of play, learning to express affection and interact with other people, and getting her legs under her as a "good guy." It ends with her ruthlessly and unabashedly murdering the literal embodiment of her abused and violent past self when it tries to kill the one thing she loves in this world in front of her, again, trying to force her to relive the worst moment of her life. Where, in Infinity War, she was forced to be a passive tool in her father's plan to kill her sister, this time she was able to look at that tool and say, "not today," and shoot it right through the heart. She didn't get to kill Thanos, which I'm a little salty about, but honestly, getting to kill the part of her that was metaphorically and literally destroying everything she loved? Probably better.
So, this movie did give Nebula the story she finally deserved.
Finally, let's talk Thor. The series, I mean. But also the character. See, as good as Thor: Ragnarok was, I don't think there's any long time, heavily invested fan of the Thor cinematic universe who would disagree: Ragnarok did the Thor cinematic series dirty. And Infinity War did it dirtier. But nothing and no one has done this series as dirty as Endgame. I legitimately and wholeheartedly recommend watching Avengers Endgame. It's a ton of fun! It's a trash movie, but it's a wild ride and it's really good and like, it's just FUN!
But if you're a fan of the Thor series, do NOT. Just fucking don't. It's a nonstop fucking series of bitch slaps. It's a goddamn 3 hour train of being punched in the goddamn face.
The closest it comes to being decent is, at one brief fucking moment towards the end, admitting that Thor is not actually a great leadership and authority figure all things considered, which like, valid and true and also what literally every single person other than Odin and Thor have been saying since day one. The rest of the time, this film is making shitty fucking fat jokes and depression jokes and PTSD jokes, and "look at the crying baby jokes" and cheeto dust jokes and just a litany of fucking nonstop jokes at the expense of fans of Thor (franchise), Thor (character), or anyone in the audience who is fat, depressed, has PTSD or panic attacks--which given the fact that Infinity War is fucking NOTORIOUS for giving huge numbers of abuse survivors and war veterans flashbacks from Thanos's murder of his daughter is quite a fucking BALLSY move--well. It ain't pretty. So if you like Thor in general, hop on past this one.
Also, there's the entire like. Thanos situation. Just the whole Thanos, himself. Like. They actually literally have Thanos admit, in dialogue, that his plan was destined to fail. That reducing the population was never going to work. That he needs to increase supply and not reduce demand. Except, oops, not really. See, actually, throughout the entire film, there are no food shortages. Everyone has water, wifi, electric. New cars and cell phones are being produced. References are made to the environment improving and the oceans getting cleaner. Steve points out that Thanos was objectively correct about the impact of the snap, commenting that whales have moved back into the Hudson river, just not about the psychological impact of the snap. So, Thanos himself concludes that he was actually not ambitious enough, and he has to kill everyone and start with fresh lives in a super-resource-rich extropic utopia that don't know about any murders that happened in the past. Which is so stupid. Like, the film actually doubles down on the whole Thanos Was Right shit show.
I cannot emphasize enough how awful the writing is. It's actually a really vicious little shitshow underneath all of the jokes and callbacks and references and sendoffs.
But the thing is, it was never intended to be a magnus opus. It was intended to be a sign off. This isn't the declaration of independence, this is the John Hancock. And as a signature piece, it fucking WORKS, man. It really does. It is a TON of fun, and I'll probably watch it again, probably several times (albeit fast forwarding any time Thor is on screen).
So. Would I recommend it to you? Well, not if you're a die hard fan of the Thor film series, and not if you're prone to seizures or panic attacks, and not if you have and really really severe issues with seeing alcoholism treated as humour. But if you don't mind the fact that it's very much a big-budget spectacle intended to be a peacock feather in a fancy hat, and not a loadbearing keystone?
Yeah. It's fun as hell. It's also #problematic as fuck, and inconsistent as those little ferret ball dog toys.
Just don't let yourself think about it.
At all.
Maybe get yourself in an altered state of mind beforehand.
Moving right along.
The writing in this film is best described as a pile of toothpicks held together with papier mache made entirely of fan service, but oh fuck y'all, that fanservice was SO fucking TASTY and I am not above eating it with a spoon. Like, bitch, if the Secret Empire had pulled off the Captain America as a double agent thing half as well as that gorgeous fucking elevator callback scene, my dog would be named after him and not after James Barnes right now, okay? Like, fuck dude, fuck, my dude. Legendary.
But then you get to the denouement, and the thing is? There's no more fan service. The problem with a denouement is there are no more callbacks, no more climaxes, no more rising actions and falling tensions, there's just resolutions. And so the entire audience has to look back at your writing, and realize with horror, that you have fucked. Up.
Let me be very clear: I'm glad--grateful in fact--that Steve and Tony are permanently retired. But they absolutely 1000000% BORKED the SHIT out of the landing on Steve's storyline (unsurprising since that's been a fairly common refrain with his stories since winter soldier), and while Tony's ending was handled with grace and depth that was suitable for someone who literally created and carried this franchise and fundamentally reshaped the entire field of cinema in the western world as a result, the fact is, the writing for his character for the first fucking 140 minutes of the film was Not Great.
Now, let's talk about those ladies. First, Carol. A) I love her. B) her butch haircut? To die for. I wish I was that hot. Please, Carol, share with me your secrets. C) The Russo's are cowards who don't know how to handle her, so they just were like "meh, I guess we'll have her be busy off screen for 165 minutes, whatever, no way that'll be annoying given she was marketed as a lynchpin in this fiasco or anything."
Which is pretty indicative of how women are handled in general in this movie. There's this sort of veneer of womanistic paint, that really is a micrometer thick. For example, there is a scene--I think we all know the one--where Dear And Good Boy Peter Parker gets in over his head and meets beautiful super goddess Captain Marvel and is like, "whoa, how will you get through this hoarde of monsters tho" and then ALL THE WOMEN OF MARVEL line up behind her to be like "Don't worry, she has back up" and it's very "GIRL POWER, YEAH," and it's kind of satisfying tbh, I won't lie. Except, also, there's. Like. A grand total of 8 women. In all of Marvel. And it really, really, REALLY, emphasizes that very low population. Watching this scene that is supposed to really be very empowering and feminist and whatever else just drives home how FEW women are allowed to EXIST AT ALL in these films. And like, you know they did it on purpose for marketing executives to be able to put that in some kind of trailer to pop onto the My Little Pony time slots. It's a trailer shot. And that's fine and all, but it's so agonizingly obviously a trailer shot because there's so few women in Marvel that, well, it sticks out. It makes it painfully obvious how few women there are!
Black Widow was supposed to be a primary character in this movie, btw. She definitely was, very clearly, supposed to be a perspective character. We were supposed to get main story perspectives: Tony, Nebula, and Widow. Except, regardless of how obvious it is that Widow was supposed to be the protagonist of her plotline, Clint is treated as the protagonist of her plotline. Which is confusing for a number of reasons, not the least of which being that when she dies he's still not narratively relevant to the fucking plotline so it just kind of goes on inertia with him along for the ride. This is a real fucking piss in the grave for Nat fans, and a slap in the face for Clint fans. I will say that this did a good job really exploring their relationship as non-romantic soulmates, which is nice, as it explicitly cements them as each other's most important other halves and all, but in a 100% platonic way, which is nice and basically never happens with M/F pairs, but like, I'm disinclined to give anyone the points for that since the film also kept really trying to push the bizarre as FUCK Bruce/Natasha ship too, while LITERALLY MENTIONING AT ONE POINT HOW WEIRD IT WAS.
Now, Nebula, I would say, was the one woman this film actually treats well. For a value of well. Her arc is complete, her story brutal but ultimately I found it very satisfying. It begins with her being confused by the idea of play, learning to express affection and interact with other people, and getting her legs under her as a "good guy." It ends with her ruthlessly and unabashedly murdering the literal embodiment of her abused and violent past self when it tries to kill the one thing she loves in this world in front of her, again, trying to force her to relive the worst moment of her life. Where, in Infinity War, she was forced to be a passive tool in her father's plan to kill her sister, this time she was able to look at that tool and say, "not today," and shoot it right through the heart. She didn't get to kill Thanos, which I'm a little salty about, but honestly, getting to kill the part of her that was metaphorically and literally destroying everything she loved? Probably better.
So, this movie did give Nebula the story she finally deserved.
Finally, let's talk Thor. The series, I mean. But also the character. See, as good as Thor: Ragnarok was, I don't think there's any long time, heavily invested fan of the Thor cinematic universe who would disagree: Ragnarok did the Thor cinematic series dirty. And Infinity War did it dirtier. But nothing and no one has done this series as dirty as Endgame. I legitimately and wholeheartedly recommend watching Avengers Endgame. It's a ton of fun! It's a trash movie, but it's a wild ride and it's really good and like, it's just FUN!
But if you're a fan of the Thor series, do NOT. Just fucking don't. It's a nonstop fucking series of bitch slaps. It's a goddamn 3 hour train of being punched in the goddamn face.
The closest it comes to being decent is, at one brief fucking moment towards the end, admitting that Thor is not actually a great leadership and authority figure all things considered, which like, valid and true and also what literally every single person other than Odin and Thor have been saying since day one. The rest of the time, this film is making shitty fucking fat jokes and depression jokes and PTSD jokes, and "look at the crying baby jokes" and cheeto dust jokes and just a litany of fucking nonstop jokes at the expense of fans of Thor (franchise), Thor (character), or anyone in the audience who is fat, depressed, has PTSD or panic attacks--which given the fact that Infinity War is fucking NOTORIOUS for giving huge numbers of abuse survivors and war veterans flashbacks from Thanos's murder of his daughter is quite a fucking BALLSY move--well. It ain't pretty. So if you like Thor in general, hop on past this one.
Also, there's the entire like. Thanos situation. Just the whole Thanos, himself. Like. They actually literally have Thanos admit, in dialogue, that his plan was destined to fail. That reducing the population was never going to work. That he needs to increase supply and not reduce demand. Except, oops, not really. See, actually, throughout the entire film, there are no food shortages. Everyone has water, wifi, electric. New cars and cell phones are being produced. References are made to the environment improving and the oceans getting cleaner. Steve points out that Thanos was objectively correct about the impact of the snap, commenting that whales have moved back into the Hudson river, just not about the psychological impact of the snap. So, Thanos himself concludes that he was actually not ambitious enough, and he has to kill everyone and start with fresh lives in a super-resource-rich extropic utopia that don't know about any murders that happened in the past. Which is so stupid. Like, the film actually doubles down on the whole Thanos Was Right shit show.
I cannot emphasize enough how awful the writing is. It's actually a really vicious little shitshow underneath all of the jokes and callbacks and references and sendoffs.
But the thing is, it was never intended to be a magnus opus. It was intended to be a sign off. This isn't the declaration of independence, this is the John Hancock. And as a signature piece, it fucking WORKS, man. It really does. It is a TON of fun, and I'll probably watch it again, probably several times (albeit fast forwarding any time Thor is on screen).
So. Would I recommend it to you? Well, not if you're a die hard fan of the Thor film series, and not if you're prone to seizures or panic attacks, and not if you have and really really severe issues with seeing alcoholism treated as humour. But if you don't mind the fact that it's very much a big-budget spectacle intended to be a peacock feather in a fancy hat, and not a loadbearing keystone?
Yeah. It's fun as hell. It's also #problematic as fuck, and inconsistent as those little ferret ball dog toys.
Just don't let yourself think about it.
At all.
Maybe get yourself in an altered state of mind beforehand.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-27 07:02 am (UTC)this whole past year i was finding myself hating ragnarok more and more, and how much "funny" thor over powered "well characterized" thor. The only good scene with him I would argue is the post Avenger's thor saving Tony and talking with pierce, because that was amazing
His treatment, how they legitimately had tony say to his dad he forgives him for his abuse, and nat's treatment are maybe the worst, but I was fine with cap's; kinda predicted it a couple of months ago (either he was going to die or go back in time because Chris Evans was done playing the character)
Overall though I totally feel you so much this movie made like legitimately my life I loved so much of it (and only hated the tiniest little bit)
no subject
Date: 2019-04-30 10:24 pm (UTC)And also the Thor thing. GHHHHHHH I hate what the MCU's done to his character.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-30 11:20 pm (UTC)Which, like, wooooof. That's its whole own post probably, but what a mess.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-01 12:32 am (UTC)