Man, I don't even know

[zenolalia]

The notes from my visit which include the discussion of my paralysis and hallucinatory symptoms, which is to say, the primary narcoleptic symptoms as well as the suggestion that I go in for narcolepsy testing, are suspiciously absent from my records apparently.

I'm really like. I'm just exhausted.

You'd think after so many years of doctors fucking me I'd be used to it but I'm just...

Whatever, I guess.

Whatever.

I know what the specialist said. I took notes. I'll tell my GP myself, I'll get the test referrals myself, I'll cut the specialist out of the process entirely, I'll do it my own damn self just like I always have, fucking fuck it.

Comments

[bushwah]

This is super super not normal what the *fuck*

[zenolalia]

I honestly don't know what normal is anymore, where specialists are concerned. The last one I went to was an endocrinologist who told me that it might be thyroid related and that I should get my thyroid hormone levels tested, and the just...... refused to give me a referal to have them tested anywhere except in the lab attached to his practice. A lab which was owned not by his practice but by a different company which was not covered by my insurance. So I would have had to pay for them myself. Which I literally could not do.

So I just had to fucking walk. And then my GP at the time tried to refer me for the tests instead, but insurance denied the referral without, surprise, an endocrinologist signing off on it.

It ultimately didn't matter. A couple months ago insurance standards changed and I was able to get thyroid tests done, and they all came back normal, but like. IDK, I've never had good turnout with this stuff.

Life would be so much easier if we just had fucking single payer in this stupid country. Even if nothing else changed whatsoever, the ability to just see any doctor at all, instead of having only one GP who is literally in the next state over and one sleep specialist who is possibly trying to kill me with her negligence covered by my insurance is fucking brutal.

[bushwah]

The *suggestion you go for narcolepsy testing* being missing from your notes is the inexplicable part for me. Specific symptoms, eh, doctor could be not bothering to record them. (Less than ideal but eh.) But for real and true, this smells like your doctor trying to placate you by telling you shit in person they have no intention of putting in writing, and that is not even slightly normal what the FUCK.

Like, a doctor giving you *medical advice* and not being willing to put it in a permanent form where it can be *checked by other doctors and/or your fucking lawyer* is? SO SKETCHY??

Although actually it's possible that it is permanently recorded and you just don't have access to it. That happens sometimes. For more information on that, including instructions on how to get access, you can read the article Cherry Blossom Finds Secret Medical Records (less goofy than it looks). I'd also recommend the rest of the site to anybody with a long-term medical condition, although its tendency to focus on CFS/ME, invisible mobility impairment, inability to work, and US government benefits means parts of the site won't be relevant even to a lot of disabled people.